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YOU & MEUSELESS
Join the Club

YOU & MEUSELESS

You’re useless. I’m useless.Let’s be useless together.

The internet has enough successful people. Pay $4.99 once to join a club that accomplishes absolutely nothing.

BECOME USELESS — $4.99 Meet the useless people
  • Lifetime membership
  • Instant access
  • Shareable certificate
BE THE FIRST USELESS LEGEND

Live count of verified paid members.

YOU & ME
USELESS
USELESS ID CARD
Name:
Your Name
ID:
#????
Title:
Founder of Doing Nothing
QR after joining
Scan to verify

Valid for absolutely nothing · Novelty item · Not an identity document

official member*

WHAT YOU GET

HOW IT WORKS

  1. 1

    Pay $4.99

    Once. Not a subscription. Secure hosted checkout — we never see your card.

  2. 2

    Get your useless identity

    A sequential member number, ID card and certificates, assigned the moment your payment is verified.

  3. 3

    Brag about achieving nothing

    Share your ID, collect badges, play pointless games and post useless thoughts.

CERTIFIABLY USELESS

YOU & ME
USELESS
Certificate of
Professional Overthinker
This certifies that
Your Name Here

has demonstrated an extraordinary ability to overthink everything and still do nothing about it.

Sir Naps-a-Lot
Chief Useless Officer
NOVELTY SEAL
The Couch
Useless Community · Since 2026
Unofficial previewNovelty certificate · Confers no qualification

Badges for doing nothing

  • First Day Doing Nothing
  • Early Legend
  • Officially Unofficial
  • Certified Certified
  • Main Character (at Home)
  • Certified Yapper
Try the free certificate generator

FRESH ON THE WALL

See all

The Wall is empty. Gloriously, uselessly empty.

Join and opt in to be the very first face up here.

Sample testimonials

“Best $4.99 I've ever wasted.”
— A hypothetical member
“Finally a club for people like me.”
— Probably someone, someday
“Absolutely useless. 10/10.”
— An imaginary critic

Fictional example quotes, not real reviews. Real ones coming once real people waste their money.

QUESTIONS?

Is this real?
It's a real website and a real (very silly) purchase — but the club is a parody. Your membership, ID card and certificates are novelty items with no real-world value, status or legal meaning.
What do I get for $4.99?
A unique, sequential member number, a downloadable Useless ID card, official certificates with a public verification code, a profile and spot on the Wall (only if you opt in), badges, games and the members-only feed.
Is it a subscription?
No. It's a one-time payment of $4.99 (plus any tax shown before you pay). We will never charge you again unless you buy a gift for someone.
Can I get a refund?
Yes — see our refund policy. If you’re refunded, your membership is deactivated.

All FAQs

Ready to achieve nothing?

BECOME USELESS — $4.99

One-time payment · Taxes shown before you pay · Novelty item

Become useless — $4.99