Terms of Service

Who we are

You & Me Useless is operated by [Operator / company legal name], [Street, postcode, city, country] (VAT: [VAT ID, if applicable]). Contact: support@youmeuseless.com.

It’s a parody

You & Me Useless is a novelty, humour product. Membership, member numbers, ID cards, certificates, badges and titles are jokes. They have no monetary value, confer no rights, qualifications or status, and are not identity documents. Don’t use them to mislead anyone.

The purchase

• Lifetime membership costs $4.99, paid once, plus any tax shown before payment. It is not a subscription and never renews.
• Payments are processed by our payment provider; we don’t store card details.
• Your membership activates when payment is verified. “Lifetime” means for as long as the service operates.
• Memberships are personal and non-transferable. Gift codes are single-use and expire after 365 days.

Your account & content

• You must be at least 16 years old (or have parental consent where required).
• Keep your login safe. You’re responsible for activity on your account.
• You keep ownership of what you post, and grant us a licence to display it on the service.
• No harassment, hate, spam, impersonation, illegal content or sharing others’ personal info. We may hide content or suspend accounts that break these rules.

Refunds & withdrawal

See our Refund policy. Refunded or charged-back purchases deactivate the membership.

Liability

The service is provided as-is. Nothing here limits liability that cannot be limited by law.

Changes

We may update these terms; significant changes will be announced on the site. The price you paid will never change retroactively.